It takes two to tango

Why don’t more males learn how to dance?

I can’t think of an easier, more casual way to get a beautiful woman in your arms. It is by far the fastest way to get close to someone; both physically and emotionally.

It’s not just about grabbing someone’s hand and steering them around the dance floor, or bumpin’ uglies to club music; it’s a mental connection. You can tell more about a person and how they feel by the way they dance with you, than by trying to have a conversation with them over a blaring bass.

Perhaps that’s why some guys are afraid to dance – it’s very close, and such a close connection can sometimes be nerve-racking.

But I suspect that it’s less of a personal bubble issue and more of a self-esteem issue.

Men are afraid to dance. They say it’s stupid, but what they really mean is that they “feel” stupid doing it. It’s a shame, because women love to dance – especially after a few drinks.

Forget Justin Timberlake and Michael Jackson. Forget poppin’ n’ lockin’. Forget what you see on MTV. These types of dance are for entertainment purposes.
Most women can’t dance like this, so it’s not like they think any less of a man who hasn’t mastered the moonwalk.

Ladies want someone to dance with them.

The foundations of partner dancing tap into three very important areas of the female psyche. First of all, women love to be flattered. Second of all, women like to be around men who make them feel safe. Third, and most important, women like to be made to feel special.

The easiest way to accomplish all of this is to pick a partner dance and then get really good at it.

In traditional ballroom and Latin dance, there is a lead and there is a follow. It doesn’t matter which gender assumes which role, but usually the man is the lead. His role is to control the movements of the female’s body. His own movements suggest where she should place her feet, how to move her hips and when to spin. To anyone who thinks this sounds sexist or overtly sexual, I urge you to get over yourself.

Partner dancing is the epitome of considerate conduct. It’s a sensitive, bodily conversation that requires a real knack for listening and observing. Pleasurable partner dancing can only be accomplished when both people are tuned into each other’s feelings and gestures.

One of the most challenging, but rewarding partner dances is Argentinean Social Tango. This dance is the real deal. What most people call to mind when they think of Tango is actually Stage Tango, a highly dramatic version of Tango meant for entertainment. Social Tango is for real people and it can be danced to absolutely any music – even country.

It’s a basic dance that involves a close, rounded embrace and a high level of dependence between the lead and the follow. The result is beautiful, poignant and very sexy.

Anyone interested in learning can go to the Iron Horse every Sunday afternoon for free lessons.

So guys, please stop being wallflowers. Seriously. Stop. We ladies want you to dance with us.

If you guys want our affection, you don’t have to be gorgeous. You don’t even need to be rich. You just need two legs, and the confidence to make us look great on the dance floor.

Noura Alfadl-Andreasson * A&E Editor