Column: Science of astrology revealed

Does anyone really believe in this?

Today my horoscope says I’ll be asked to spring into action so I shouldn’t resist it. I should also keep in mind the fact that things may not be as simple as they appear. That’s incredible. How did they know that sometime today it would be necessary for me to complete a task of some sort? And the bit about circumstances appears simpler than they sometimes are? Brilliant.

I’m only bringing this up because I was recently asked why the Sentinel doesn’t have a horoscope section.  As far as I can tell, there are two reasons why readers can’t find their astrological insights in the Sentinel. The first is, that as far as I know, horoscopes need to be syndicated from a firm, which costs money, and the second is that they’re complete bulls- -t.

How astrology ever got so popular and remains successful with almost every age group well into the 21st century is beyond me, but I have a theory.

I maintain that horoscope writers are the unrecognized geniuses of information age writing. Day after day, they produce predictions and advice that are just specific enough to be worth reading and barely vague enough to have a guaranteed application in my life without discrediting itself.  Example: “Today dear Sagittarius, you should focus on your personal relationships rather than your professional ones. It’s important to keep in mind that important accomplishments can be made in the home as well as the workplace.” I just pulled that out of thin air. It’s a subtle art, writing the horoscope.

Just once, I would like to see a rogue horoscope writer who isn’t afraid to take a shot in the dark and run the risk of alienating the majority of his readers. “Libra, you’ll have a difficult day today at work, namely, because after you walk into your driveway and discover the battery on your ’89 Oldsmobile is dead, you’ll arrive 45 minutes late. Next time remember to turn off your dome light before you leave the car at night.” If that prediction was even close to accurate to at least one reader, that writer would be elevated to legend status almost immediately.

Last week I read in a quote from English philosopher Francis Bacon. Bacon said, “The general root of superstition is that men observe when things hit, and not when they miss.” While I think Bacon was right, I also think he may have been simplifying the phenomenon. Is it possible that people cling to their astrological sign because it’s reliable? The paper will never skip a a day and they can expect insight and advice on a regular basis (However arbitrary that advice ends up being.) Maybe in retrospect we should run horoscopes in the Sentinel, if not for anything else than the guaranteed increase in circulation. As long as I get to write them.

Opinions expressed in editorial and opinion articles are the views of individual NIC students. These views do not necessarily  reflect the opinions of the Sentinel, North Idaho College, or any other organizations or groups there-in. North Idaho College is not responsible for the accuracy of statements or opinions shared.