It’s well over two months until the holiday season begins, but there is always time for a dialogue about gifts. It’s difficult to broach the subject about presents without seeming spoiled and flat out ungrateful.The gift-giver went out of their way to do something completely altruistic and the receiver should just smile and nod, right?
Everyone has gotten a bad gift at some point in their life: from a distant family member who doesn’t know you very well gifting an iTunes card out of sheer obligation or ugly Christmas socks from grandma (but it’s not a big deal because grandma always gets a free pass for being grandma). We thank them profusely in person, but grumble internally and leave it in the darkest corner of our dresser. But people, especially our closest friends, need to understand the impact certain gifts may have.
Some presents may be very inconvenient to the receiver. Some questions to consider are does it need constant maintenance? If yes, do you know for an absolute fact that the receiver will have time for it? If no, don’t do it, the gift card is probably a better idea. 99.9 percent of the time a puppy, hamster or even a houseplant as a gift is probably a bad idea.
Clothes are always a risk. Always. Another factor to consider if it’s technological, is to make sure is they can actually use it; you can’t play Xbox games on a PS3, nor are all phone cases a universal fit. For example, I have a very low-end computer when it comes to graphics and I’ve received a few gifts I flat out cannot play because they require a better machine (they‘re digital copies, so no refunds). I had told them repeatedly on numerous occasions that my computer was very outdated.
I am not ungrateful for these gifts, but in the end they don’t fulfill their intended purpose. I might as well have been given nothing. With the difficult economy, I treasure the little luxuries I do have, but it hurts knowing my friend didn’t take the time to listen.
Another rule that may seem to be obvious, yet people still have a tendency to forget, is that unless you are absolutely positive on what religion the recipient follows, you might want to avoid crosses and other religious gifts. Nothing more awkward than an atheist getting a cross necklace or an Orthodox Jew getting a Bacon-of-the-Month Club membership. If it’s a gag gift, make sure the person getting it actually has a sense of humor. Grandma might not like the sexy firefighters calendar (but then again she might).
The best advice I can give is to actually listen to what your friends talk about. Learn what they like. What subject comes up frequently? What is their favorite store to shop at? I honestly don’t think that gift cards or money are impersonal or bad gifts. Better to give them something that will allow them to choose what will make them happy than force upon them something they don’t like for the same amount of money.
The more specific you get when choosing a gift, the greater risk you take. A good gift works because it shows how much you know about the person and what brightens their day. If all else fails, at least there are wish lists.
