Liam Neeson has established an exceptional history in popular media around the world. He has wielded light sabers in defense of the galaxy and led an army of ninjas plunging an entire city into chaos. He has won 10 awards for being an accomplished actor and has been nominated nearly 20 times beyond that. His filmography encompasses 86 films including classics such as “Schindler’s List” and “Star Wars.” It is his diverse skillset and villain-destroying awesomeness that proves the point that Liam Neeson is far superior to Chuck Norris in every way imaginable.
Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick has been heard around the world. He will forever be immortalized in the annuals of fame as not only having a great beard, but possessing the ability to feed off of the sweet milk of God’s tears, or whatever. I will always respect the real-life ability of Chuck for being Karate Champion and physical fitness advocate, especially at his age of 114.
Norris will forever live in our hearts as the spearhead of many jokes and the wielder of infinite awesome abilities, but what about those of us who don’t play “World of Warcraft?” Who are we suppose to look up to in these modern times? Fear not, media junkies, a true character and role-model has been around for more than a decade in full force, and it is time he starts reaping the acclaim he deserves. Enter: Liam Neeson.
Neeson has played many roles in cinema that go far beyond that of the over-exaggerated Chuck Norris. Sure Chuck has a black belt and uses it to defend a small Texas town on cable television, but that does not hold the same clout as say, I don’t know, training Obi-Wan Kenobi. This is just the tip of the Neesonberg, mind you. The big LN also has family values to which all can aspire. He once infiltrated an international slave-trading ring to rescue his only daughter, leaving all who opposed him completely annihilated. He did not wish to uncover a bigger meaning, or take down the leader of a crime organization; he sought only to recover his loved one and he succeeded. Also, he did this by himself, and not with a group of army buddies like Chuck Norris, some of which may still be alive if Norris wasn’t worried about getting his hair dirty in the South American jungle.
Let’s take a moment to look at Chuck’s list of awards. Hold on I know I can find one… oh here we go: a bunch of BMI music awards for “Walker, Texas Ranger.” Good job buddy, I can see why you’re so popular with those who don flannel jackets and cowboy hats. Norris’ filmography weighs in at 38 titles. Call me a critic, but I just don’t think Delta Force really needed 37 sequels. Again, Neeson’s opulence reigns supreme.
The many sides of Neeson can be viewed and approved by anyone. He has cast lightning bolts down as Zeus and punished over-privileged adults in sadistic ways. He has been an anti-hero, a criminal, wolf-killer and all-around badass. Even after doing all this, you would pay him to read your favorite book just to hear it spoken in his awe-inspiring voice that commands every synapse of your attention. Oh, and he trained Batman, too.
Now some argue that it’s Chuck Norris’ real-life roundhouse kicking abilities that make him the toughest old man around. For one, Liam Neeson, trainer of Jedi Knights and Dark Knights, is plenty old, being born in 1952. As far as physical prowess goes, Neeson used to be an armature-boxer in Ireland. I am pretty sure Irish boxers eat roundhouse kicks every day with afternoon tea.
It is time to let go of clichés and tired jokes. Norris has been given plenty of due. Let us ring in a true and deserving champion, one who actually gets screen time. Let us herald the new king of action: Liam Neeson.
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